Yo dont text me then not text me
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize