Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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