Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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