I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
