but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
