I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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