Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize