I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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