Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
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There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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