ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
