I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
