conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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