cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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