i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
