how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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