did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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