Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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