Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
