After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my sisters under your porch take her home
you traded sex for a burrito?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
