I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Success! We fucked roommates!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
