I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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