I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
