when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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