I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Vodka?
Forever.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
pray to the hookup gods
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
