I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
