Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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