Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
