Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
