Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
