actually, I'm a sock model
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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