32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
