His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
