were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
