she looked like the before picture.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
