this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You're like the curious george of whores
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
