Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
