the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
