my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
