somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
