Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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