I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize