I want to have your abortion
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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