It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
