how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
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Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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