It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
