so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
