What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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