in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
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Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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