K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
