whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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