windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
