508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You smell like stripper and shame
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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