he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
50% drunk capacity currently
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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