Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
