Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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