Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
