Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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