we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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