oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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